OnStar, This is Jason…

October 20, 2006 by Jason.

Jen called me up yesterday from Massachusetts. They had just finished their day in Boston and were on their way back to Atlantic Union College but they needed to stop and eat somewhere.

“Are you near the computer?” Jen asked. Of course I was. That’s where I live.

“Can you find us a mall? We’re near Framingham and we need someplace to eat.”

Since I’m an Internet genius, I found a mall nearby:

“Just take 290 West, the first exit is River Rd. There’s a mall right there.”

Jen thanked me and promised to call later.

Fifteen minutes pass. The phone rings.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere!” she cried, “It’s trees everywhere, where is that mall?” I pulled up the Google Maps.

“Did you take the first exit?”

“Yes, we’re on River Road. We’ve been driving for miles!”

“Wait, you didn’t see the mall off the exit? It’s right off the exit? Didn’t you see it from the highway?”

“What? No, it’s just trees everywhere!”

I got them turned around and back the right direction.

“Okay, turn at Donald J Lynch Blvd and keep going.”

“There’s just a office building. Lots of trees. Wait, is that Best Buy? Olive Garden?!” I can hear the cheers of the kids as they rattle off the wonders of shopping. Borders! Macy’s! Linens N’ Things! Okay, maybe not that last one.

“Wow,” Jen said, “you couldn’t see anything from the road at all.” In the background, I hear these classic words from Danica:

“It was like the Columbian Rain Forest!”

Apparently, the map I was looking at should have been more like this:

Anyway, once all the shopping splendor appeared, my job was finished. Everyone was happy that they had found the best mall ever and I had fulfilled my duty as a part-time OnStar operator. In fact, Jen just called a few minutes ago looking for an Olive Garden and the one at Solomon Pond Mall looks to be the closest.

Until next time, thank you for using OnStar!

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